wanna be.

Life seems so dull and boring when you start saying the same old things that every one else does.  On the other hand, doesn't that make it a bit more refreshing to know that you, are like a million other people?  That you're struggles are not fought by just you alone, that you have unknown friends rallying with you?  Or does it simply reflect back on the fact that you and nine hundred and ninety nine thousand other people are all just losers trying to seek validation?  Or that you all belong in the same fishing net?

Hi, my name is Debbie and  I'm an overweight thirty something whom has struggled with weight issues her whole life.  This is my journey.

I remember walking down the hall wearing my sexy new yellow zebra print skinny pants, complete with black belt, black tank top with a yellow one over top and rocking a Madonna bang like no other.  Yeah that's right, I got skinny enough to wear tight pants and mini skirts.  I was 15 years old, my first weight loss success story.  Lets get this straight though, if I had a body now like the big girl in grade 10 had I would be rocking a mini skirt.  The boys in grade 11 though weren't appreciative of that body I wish I had now, so, I lost 20 pounds off it.  Funny thing was though, they couldn't handle the new me.  That's when I began to learn the power women had over men.  No worries though, I never needed the local boys to play with when I had the big city boys with cars to fawn over me.  I made it through to the end of grade 12 with that hot body of mine.  I remember thinking I was too fat to wear a bikini, but when I bought my first bikini I couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror, I looked damn good in one.  I think that was my first and only bikini ever though.  The end of grade 12 came, I had broken up with my big city boyfriend and found myself depressed at the loss of a great guy.  Guess that was my first go at fearing a relationship and breaking up only because I liked him too much.  With that I didn't have a date to the prom and went with my girlfriends.  My dress kept coming apart, the zipper breaking away.  I thought it was because I was dancing too much, in retrospect it was simply because I bought a size too small.  The weight I had lost a year and half ago was starting to creep back on.  Thus beginning my yoyo dieting hell.